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an old book is
something like a dead grandmother;
silent everywhere but in your mind
featured here :heart:

i feel like this could be expanded but not sure if i should. kinda like it how it is.

title is book i am reading. i think it fits well with the poem.
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:iconavrodite:
Avrodite Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
very lovely
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :heart:
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:iconleap-of-faythe:
Leap-of-Faythe Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is a masterful poem. Very original connection you made, and the piece sort of balances on the line between something mournful and harsh, and something soothing and comforting. Great work! :heart:
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :) I'm glad you think so, I think a lot of people find it only harsh.
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:iconleap-of-faythe:
Leap-of-Faythe Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome. :)
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:iconshannon-sweeney:
Shannon-Sweeney Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Featured [link]
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:iconmonstroooo:
monstroooo Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
There's a really lovely sentiment behind this - it's a very powerful idea. But there's also something very hard and unsympathetic about it. 'dead grandmother' really leaps out of the page and knocks me cold, and it takes a re-read or two to get over it.

Do you think there's a softer, more gentle wording you could use? 'grandmother's ghost', for example, lacks the... callousness, while still telling the same story.
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i really went with my gut with this one - just wrote down what came to mind. i do understand the point you're making and i agree that it is hard and unsympathetic, but i also think that's what makes it powerful. like someone else said, it's like "a punch in the gut". i don't mean to offend anyone with my word choice :S i'll think about it though, see if i can come up with something i like. thank you very much for the feedback! :star:
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:iconmonstroooo:
monstroooo Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ok :) I guess you have to decide whether you want to leave a loud impact or a quiet impression :) I think a softer delivery would get the best out of the piece, but of course it's entirely your choice!
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:icondamagedhomewrecker:
DamagedHomewrecker Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i love this. its perfect. eerie but true and wonderful.
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you (:
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:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Student Writer
i really like this!
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! (:
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:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Student Writer
you're welcome:)
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:iconsecretagentnine:
SecretAgentNine Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is really wonderful. It's a great connection, one that I had never thought of and never would if you hadn't pointed it out. I don't think it needs any expansion- it's beautiful the way it is. ^-^
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much :heart:
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:iconnamelessshe:
NamelessShe Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I really like this! Especially the last line.
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much :heart:
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:iconpengirl100and2:
pengirl100and2 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012   Writer
... right in the heart.
I've never made this connection before, but I think from now on I'll have to. It's a powerful poem, stunning in only fifteen words.
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much! i'm glad to have.. enlightened you, i suppose? :aww:
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:iconpengirl100and2:
pengirl100and2 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2012   Writer
I suppose so ^^
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:iconsleyf:
Sleyf Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I think it's fine as a short piece! I feel if you expanded on it, it might lose that "bam" that it has lol...it's kind of creepy...well mainly because I wouldn't want to hear my grandma in my mind :fear: but if you look at it from the point of an old book being cherished and with so much "story value", then it's a nice thought because grandma's are like that too. Ooh I like that double meaning
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
*include that
:blush:
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
yeah, i agree. i started to think about what they might have in common and all i could think of is that they smell, which is pretty crude, so i obviously didn't include. i didn't mean for it to be "creepy" per se - i was thinking more of having the memory of your grandmother, of her voice or something like that.

thank you for taking the time to write this awesome comment and the fav! (:
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:iconsleyf:
Sleyf Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:lmao: awww, yes well you couldn't put "They smell" in there! It would have turned it from a nice deep emotional piece into...well a comedy to be honest with you lol. But yes I know what you mean about the memory part :giggle: and I guess like all old books, there are parts that are flaky and wrinkled and hard to understand :D
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
exactly! it would have ruined the whole ambiance.

hey, that's good! but also a bit too comedic for this piece (:
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:iconsleyf:
Sleyf Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You could always go for another piece on the same theme but...funny :XD: nah it just wouldn't be the same!
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:iconmichi-iyo:
michi-iyo Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012
it's really strong being this short.
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i think so too.
thank you for the favorite (:
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:icont-wolf2:
T-wolf2 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sounds good the way it is.
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thanks (:
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:icont-wolf2:
T-wolf2 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome.
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