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Submitted on
September 25, 2012
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an old book is
something like a dead grandmother;
silent everywhere but in your mind
featured here :heart:

i feel like this could be expanded but not sure if i should. kinda like it how it is.

title is book i am reading. i think it fits well with the poem.
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:iconavrodite:
Avrodite Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
very lovely
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :heart:
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:iconleap-of-faythe:
Leap-of-Faythe Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is a masterful poem. Very original connection you made, and the piece sort of balances on the line between something mournful and harsh, and something soothing and comforting. Great work! :heart:
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :) I'm glad you think so, I think a lot of people find it only harsh.
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:iconleap-of-faythe:
Leap-of-Faythe Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome. :)
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:iconshannon-sweeney:
Shannon-Sweeney Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Featured [link]
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:iconmonstroooo:
monstroooo Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
There's a really lovely sentiment behind this - it's a very powerful idea. But there's also something very hard and unsympathetic about it. 'dead grandmother' really leaps out of the page and knocks me cold, and it takes a re-read or two to get over it.

Do you think there's a softer, more gentle wording you could use? 'grandmother's ghost', for example, lacks the... callousness, while still telling the same story.
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:iconforestmeetwildfire:
forestmeetwildfire Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i really went with my gut with this one - just wrote down what came to mind. i do understand the point you're making and i agree that it is hard and unsympathetic, but i also think that's what makes it powerful. like someone else said, it's like "a punch in the gut". i don't mean to offend anyone with my word choice :S i'll think about it though, see if i can come up with something i like. thank you very much for the feedback! :star:
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:iconmonstroooo:
monstroooo Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Ok :) I guess you have to decide whether you want to leave a loud impact or a quiet impression :) I think a softer delivery would get the best out of the piece, but of course it's entirely your choice!
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:icondamagedhomewrecker:
DamagedHomewrecker Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i love this. its perfect. eerie but true and wonderful.
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